The Myth of the “Only One”: Why Women Supporting Women Matters in Executive Leadership

There is a persistent story about women in leadership: that those who reach the top are reluctant to help other women get there.

Sometimes it is described as competition. Sometimes it is given a label, such as “Queen Bee.” Whatever the language, the suggestion is the same: women are somehow responsible for keeping one another out.

My experience in executive search challenges that story.

I see women making introductions, recommending other women for leadership roles and advocating for people whose potential has not yet been recognized. I see leaders sharing access to networks they had to work hard to enter themselves.

That does not mean every woman supports every other woman. No group should be held to that expectation. But treating individual behavior as evidence of a universal problem distracts us from a more important question:

Why do so many organizations still operate as though there is room for only one?

When a leadership team has one woman on it, her presence can be treated as proof that the organization has addressed representation. The next appointment then happens without anyone questioning whether the wider team reflects the talent available.

In that environment, women can be positioned as alternatives to one another rather than as leaders with different strengths.

Yet we rarely ask whether a board has room for another man. We assess his experience, his judgment and what he could contribute.

Women deserve the same consideration.

The ambition should not be to find one exceptional woman who can succeed within an unchanged system. It should be to build a system that consistently recognizes exceptional leadership across a broader range of people.

Mentoring matters. Honest feedback, encouragement and shared experience can make a real difference.

But advice alone does not determine who gets considered for a board seat, who leads a strategically important business unit or who is introduced to an investor.

Those opportunities also depend on sponsorship.

A sponsor puts someone’s name forward when they are not in the room. They make an introduction that carries credibility. They challenge the assumption that a candidate needs one more role or one more year before being ready.

For senior leaders, supporting women can be practical:

• Recommend a qualified woman for an opportunity before she asks.
• Give emerging leaders access to work that builds commercial credibility.
• Credit contributions clearly and publicly.
• Question succession plans that repeatedly overlook the same people.
• Use your network to create access, not simply to exchange advice.

These actions do not lower the bar. They help ensure that more qualified people have a fair opportunity to meet it.

By the time an organization begins an executive search, several decisions may already have narrowed the candidate pool.

The brief might prioritize a familiar career path. The preferred profile might closely resemble the previous leader. The initial names might come from the same small circle of companies and contacts.

Each choice can seem reasonable on its own. Together, they can reproduce the leadership team an organization already has.

At Key Search, I believe our responsibility is to question those assumptions.

What does this business actually need its next leader to achieve? Which experiences are essential? Which requirements reflect habit rather than evidence?

A candidate who has followed a different path should not have to overcome an undefined sense that they are “not quite the right fit.”

Nor should “culture add” become another vague phrase. It needs to mean something specific: the perspective, capability or constructive challenge a person would bring to the organization.

Clear criteria, consistent questions and evidence of leadership performance create a stronger basis for decisions than personal familiarity.

Organizations cannot solve representation at the top by looking only at their next executive appointment.

They also need to examine who receives the opportunities that prepare people for those roles.

Who gets responsibility for a budget? Who leads a transformation? Who gains international exposure? Who is given a second chance after a difficult assignment?

If access to those experiences is uneven, the eventual succession pool will reflect that.

This is why conversations about female leadership need to include promotion, retention and development throughout an organization.

When women leave, the response should not automatically be that they lacked ambition or confidence. Leaders need to ask whether progression was clear, whether expectations were applied consistently and whether the opportunities available matched the promises being made.

Key Search is female founded and our commitment to bringing more women into key leadership positions is part of how we think about our work.

Our membership in Women We Admire reflects that commitment.

The organization brings together accomplished women executives and leaders across the US and Canada, offering leadership insights and a close community that supports members throughout their careers.

For me, the value of a network like this is not simply visibility. It is the opportunity to build relationships across industries, exchange perspectives and support one another through the decisions that shape a leadership career.

Community does not replace the need for fair hiring and promotion practices. But it can create access to knowledge, encouragement and connections that would otherwise remain concentrated within established circles.

It also challenges the idea that success must be solitary.

For boards, founders and executive teams, the next step is not another statement about the importance of diversity. It is a closer look at how leadership decisions are made.

Challenge the brief. Separate the experience a role genuinely requires from preferences that unnecessarily narrow the field.

Examine progression. Look at who advances, who receives important assignments and where talented women stop progressing.

Expect a considered search. Ask how candidates were identified and whether the search extended beyond familiar networks.

Make sponsorship deliberate. Ensure that promising leaders have advocates who can help them access meaningful opportunities.

Assess consistently. Evaluate candidates against agreed outcomes rather than shifting expectations or an instinctive sense of familiarity.

None of this requires choosing representation over capability. It requires recognizing that capability is not confined to the people leadership teams already know.

The idea that women do not support women is too simplistic to explain a complex leadership problem.

It also overlooks the women who are already doing the work: sharing knowledge, creating opportunities and advocating for others.

We should recognize those contributions without making women solely responsible for fixing the systems around them.

My vision for Key Search is to help bring more women into key leadership positions around the world. That means connecting talented people with opportunities, challenging narrow assumptions and supporting communities that help women progress.

Being the first woman in the room can matter enormously.

It should never mean being the only one.